There's a big ol' birdie

sitting atop the tallest eucalyptus tree across the street. She's been there for a little while. I consulted with my Reader's Digest North American Wildlife, and upon inspection, I think she's a red-shouldered hawk. Maybe. I couldn't get that good of a look at her--my camera doesn't zoom that far. But I snapped a few crappy pictures anyway:


See?

Hawks are messengers, sun creatures, gods: think Horus. Here's a Ted Hughes poem called "Hawk Roosting."

I sit in the top of the wood, my eyes closed.
Inaction, no falsifying dream
Between my hooked head and hooked feet:
Or in sleep rehearse perfect kills and eat.

The convenience of the high trees!
The air's buoyancy and the sun's ray
Are of advantage to me;
And the earth's face upward for my inspection.

My feet are locked upon the rough bark.
It took the whole of Creation
To produce my foot, my each feather:
Now I hold Creation in my foot

Or fly up, and revolve it all slowly -
I kill where I please because it is all mine.
There is no sophistry in my body:
My manners are tearing off heads -

The allotment of death.
For the one path of my flight is direct
Through the bones of the living.
No arguments assert my right:

The sun is behind me.
Nothing has changed since I began.
My eye has permitted no change.
I am going to keep things like this.

Later that day.

I finally did make it outside. This is what I saw:

I only fooled with them a little bit. I promise.

होम Alone

It's a rare occurrence these days. It's a rare day, too--a cloudy day in Tucson, the mountains shrouded in a thin gauze of haze. Gauze of haze. Hey. I haven't left the house. What to do?

Type up a few words to no one. Sit at a desk drinking a cold cup of coffee, green hoody hood pulled up over still damp hair. Wiggle toes in woolly green socks. Twirl hair in fingers and meditate on Emptiness. Make up a new rule for no reason: mascara is forbidden on Sundays.

I used to be alone often, but now, left to myself--I don't know what to do with myself.

Guess I'll go stir the compost heap.